In the light of the feedback from my target audience I decided to revise my music video. The perceived with it was that without the usual miming there was little link between the song/lyrics and the visuals. I have decided to address this by simply expanding upon a idea that was used very sparingly in my original video - that of the classic movie style title cards. I added silent movie title cards displaying he lyrics through the video which give a better link between music and visuals and also provide a better example of intertextual references.
I also added a glow during the 'flash-back' sequences to further establish that they were the past and purely in his memories. This could also count as an intertextual reference as it is a similar effect to that which is used in numerous television programmes and films to establish a character is dreaming.
This addition seemed to have the desired effect with the audience as all of them much preferred the new version to the original.
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